worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
