can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
