Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
