have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
