You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
