escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
