I have demons in me.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize