just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances