I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
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I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!