we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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