I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You work out of a Hotel?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
