He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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