Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize