I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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