u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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