You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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