Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
