how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dick very happy bro
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
