I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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