I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
