Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
