How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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