she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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