but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
