Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
