I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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