You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
