toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
