At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
