Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
