You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
