can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
