If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
