CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
