I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
