I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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