Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
