I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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