he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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