do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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