I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize