i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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