Do you still have your period?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
