Quick, to the slutcave!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
