the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
