His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
