I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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