ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
