You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
