Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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