my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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