haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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