I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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