Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
