sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
