so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
