I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Your dad touched me again.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.