Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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